With the Summer Olympic Gamesonly six weeks away, Brazil is worried because morethan two million tickets remain unsoldand many are blaming fears about the Zika virus.
Uh, Irish golfer Rory McIlroyis the latest athlete to say he'll be skippingthe Games.
Now, yes, it's true there appearto be a number of reasons to be nervousabout visiting Brazil.
Like becausean Australian Paralympian was mugged at gunpointthis week, or because half of Riode Janeiro's sewage is dumped -into open waterways.
Or maybe 'cause Reutersrecently reported on a drug-resistantsuper-bacteria on the triathlon beach, or maybe the facttheir president is currently being overthrown in an angrypolitical uprising.
-(laughter)-or possibly because the official national birdis a Molotov cocktail, -or.
Possibly because the Olympicmascot, an Amazonian jaguar, escaped and had to be shotby the army -before it attacked people.
-(audience groans) Not to mention, sometimesthere's piranhas, uh, also malariaand the fact that, perhaps, the country may have inventedthe killer bees.
But it's gonna be fine.
It's all gonna be fine.
After all, Brazil.
Listen, guys,Brazil gave us Pelé -and pussy waxing and.
-(laughter, whooping) and-and-and antivenin.
-(whooping) (Hardwick laughs) The guy with the snake looks waymore excited to be doing this than she does to be doing that.
We're tryingto stay positive here.
We're very positive,Brazil's a wonderful place, is a beautiful nation,plenty to offer the world.
Please give me some other greatreasons to go to Brazil.
At least you don't haveto smuggle in your own performance-enhancingdrugs.
It's a positive.
Brazil is actuallyranked higher than most countriesalphabetically.
(laughter, applause) Absolutely.
Uh, you can get a selfiewith a homeless guy masturbating on the street.
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